THE JORDAN RIVER: My Pilgrimage
At the Jordan River. Bethany Beyond the Jordan,Jordan. Deets on Eats.
Dear Foodie Fam,
Pilgrim’s Path at Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
I've shared posts about houses of worship that were not mine and 11 countries later, I finally get to write about my own pilgrimage.
Sign on the road in Mandaba, Jordan. Deets on Eats.
MY EXPERIENCE AT BETHANY BEYOND THE JORDAN
My experience at the Jordan River is my favorite moment of 2019 and possibly my life…
As my husband drove our rented car from Marriott Dead Sea to Bethany Beyond the Jordan… I felt a lump rising from my chest to my throat. I did not anticipate this feeling of overwhelm.
I couldn’t stop imagining Jesus’ sandaled feet pushing puffs of sand up from paths right outside my window… This area past Mount Nebo isn’t so big… why couldn’t he have been right where we drove through?
At Bethany Beyond the Jordan, Jordan. Deets on Eats.
I was overwhelmed by a piercing, aching longing. I felt like I had literally been searching for something all my life and had just missed it…
The one person I wholeheartedly believe I owe my entire life to - the one person I most want to meet - was just there! …He was just there …because he was thinking of me, too. He was thinking about what he would do for me… It felt like we were gazing back through time at each other without meeting eyes! …I know he was there very long ago, but as I walked this physical ground which had for so long been just images in my mind and just words on a paper … I was reminded that Jesus was also a physical presence.
Only time separated me from looking into his eyes.
Outside the Visitor’s Center at Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
We pulled into a parking spot and I burst into unconsolable tears. I blubbered for half an hour. My husband patiently and silently waited. He held my hand and looked at me as I struggled to put feelings into words. I didn’t have any… I just had shuddering moans and whimpers.
As he bought our tickets, I tried typing what I felt out on texts to my parents. They were the ones who had first taught me about this place… perhaps they would understand my lack of words?… Yet, perhaps they woudn’t understand and couldn’t because they weren’t there…?
Visitor’s Center at Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
I was sitting on the bench under the covered area which was the visitor’s center when I finally stopped crying. There was a bathroom, a ticket office and a vending machine which carried Monster energy drinks and the ice cream bars so popular all over Jordan. So weird seeing those there. Don’t really know why. I guzzled water because I am so susceptible to dehydration (and was just days off of a stomach bug). I didn’t want to miss this moment for any heat exhaustion.
On the Minibus at Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
We took the minibus out to the first site. Dutch and I claimed the back seat as we always do on public transportation. He was grabbing photos and videos but I couldn’t even keep my eyes open. I couldn’t bare looking out and around …thinking he once looked at the same view of distant mountains. The view probably hadn’t changed much since he looked at it. …And what trees which stand today were seeds when he passed through? …Any? What rocks lay unmoved since he passed them? Any?
The minibus was full of people of different ages, languages and accents. The tour guide got us off the bus and effortlessly walked us along in an organized fashion. He appeared proud but practiced - like any good tour guide anywhere should be …Thought: does it feel weird when you are a Christian who lives so much of their life directly near this site?
On the Minibus at Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
My husband and I held hands as we began the walk. We could barely speak. …Were we whispering? I think he said things but I forgot what he said. We were both extremely chastened and stupefied. The touch of his hand kept me anchored… which I needed because practically first on the tour was the Byzantine churches and the Spring of John the Baptist! (This tour doesn’t play. You might hit the gift shop first but in this desert-y plain, there’s visual appetizers to the big meal.)
Basilica, Mantle Chapel and Spring of John the Baptist at Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
With a dogged, fixed gaze into the Spring of John the Baptist, I felt something so immense I went numb. When I get BIG moods, I become a zombie… This was no exception.
The water pooling at the end of this stream was pathetically low …but that dry area revealed by the recession… was it part of the same stream bed Jesus’ feet once graced? This cross shaped pool was erected where many believe John the Baptist operated… and where many believe Jesus was baptized.
Images of generations of pilgrims falling in awe rushed through me... The dazzling sunlight bounced off the small pool and I wondered how bright the sun was in Matthew 3:17.
…So it was probably best we didn’t have all the time in the world to marinate in that spot although the tour guide didn’t rush the few of us that faltered behind.
Basilica, Mantle Chapel and Spring of John the Baptist at Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
Basilica, Mantle Chapel and Spring of John the Baptist at Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
Baptism Pool. Spring of John the Baptist at Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
After walking past the neighboring pair of Byzantine basilicas (in which I remained so dazed from the Spring that I don’t even remember seeing more than dirt), it was a longer walk to the river. On this longer walk, we trudged along a covered pilgrim’s path. I felt all the world pressing on me through the sunlight filtering in. I felt pressed so hard by the light that there was diamond dust in my lungs. I’m not joking… I felt light, not heat… I felt energy, not sand… We walked as slowly as we could to keep hydrated and to take it all in.
Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
Church at Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
Past a small church… past an armed Jordanian military officer or two… down wooden steps to a shaded wooden landing with drawn river water in a basin at the center… was the shore of the Jordan River.
Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
As I descended the steps, I felt my mind shoot up like a balloon (the way my belly jumps when I take a sudden dip on a roller coaster or steep road)… I was dazed but entirely present. Sounds of pilgrims talking to each other were muffled yet the gentle trickle of this now narrow, shallow river bend sang clear as a bell.
Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
View of the Israeli side of the Jordan River at Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
The river was so narrow, I could’ve easily crossed it to the more developed, palm-lined Israeli bank (if I felt like going against all good judgement and a horde of international laws). It was so shallow, the mud rose to caress my toes immediately when disturbed. The water was dense, brown and sludgey… yet the cool temperature and the sentiment of the place made it feel clean to me. The water was only a little cooler than the air, itself.
Sitting at the edge of the walk, feet submerged in the river where Jesus began his ministry, I felt miniature and still. If it has ever happened to me, then and there I saw my life flash like a film strip through my head.
Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
This is how I can best describe how I felt: The timeline of my life was cut and stretched, shiny and beveled but truncated to a single point… strung into something like a needle pushing hard but not penetrating the bending sheet of space. I felt my entire life narrow to that moment and the rest of the world existed outside this twinkling, sublime bubble. I had the sensation of feeling every heartbeat, hearing every second and seeing every dust particle.
My husband held my hand again and we said a prayer. We washed each other’s feet in the waters of the Jordan River, sifting it up and pouring it out gently from trembling, cupped hands.
Then… we left.
Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
Every moment after that - the slow filing past churches Dutch took more detailed photos of; the gift shop where we picked up olive-tree-bark crosses for loved ones; the ride back to the visitor’s center; the ride back to the hotel - was so hazy.
Minibus back to visitor’s center from baptism site. Bethany Beyond the Jordan . Deets on Eats.
Perhaps that glaring mid-June sunlight had really gotten to me. I had a growing migraine from dehydration although I drank water practically every 5 minutes.
I tried to recover in our hotel room while Dutch went out to explore the local area and the Dead Sea, alone. I saw the disappointment in his eyes and heard it in his voice. Although I was doing my best to pace myself and drink a lot of water to stave off sickness, I felt a very real, exquisite sadness for Dutch. I was ill and bed-ridden so many times on the trip. Perhaps, too, I was emotionally tired from the unexpected enormity of touring Mount Nebo and the Jordan River. I felt like a failure.
And there was the immediate reminder that the Jordan River didn’t heal all my shortcomings. It’s just a place, after all. It’s not a God… But it’s a place that reminded me of my relationship with my God.
After a nap with blackout blinds drawn, a meal of vegetables from the resort cafe and a view of the sunset over the Dead Sea from our covered resort balcony… I finally came to…
