Dear Foodie Fam,

"Food, culture, people and landscape
are all absolutely inseparable."

ANTHONY BOURDAIN

4:30AM PST: I was working- designing something branded for a client. Dutch was snoring on the couch (he didn't want to go to bed without me). My CNN news alert popped up and for once. I actually did read it... 

Anthony Bourdain's exploits are the most outstanding inspiration for Dutch and my recent travels. 

Dutch introduced me to Parts Unknown at a friend's BBQ over Modelos. The entire concept of traveling to discover and expose "lesser known places, cultures and cuisine" the Bourdain way struck a chord with me... it wasn't the content he featured that really grabbed me, it was the way in which he wrangled it.

Sometimes tongue in cheek and cavalier. Always unwaveringly honest-to-his-own beliefs and faults. Blunt yet playful (much like most of the chefs I've known). Entirely reverent to the crafting of food. Willingly lost in whatever was the local idea of debauchery. He traversed cultures -not just food- the way we dreamed of traversing them.

I don't agree with everything he said. I don't take it all as gold... and I can say that because we've tried restaurants he's extolled and were sometimes disappointed! He was no idol. He was a human. Just a fellow human letting us know what he thought. A friend. And I liked that.

...So Dutch held me as I mourned him like a friend. How funny to have never met someone and yet to feel such a deep loss at their exit from the known world. Is it silly that I cried for the death of this man? ...The same man whose television shows I would play in the background on my bad work days... just to feel comforted knowing someone did the work he was doing?

I’m disoriented, still. I could barely scroll my foodie social media feeds without choking on the tangibility of the loss.

The sudden disappearance of this singular man left so much of this world aching for the raising of two seemingly impossible things:  trembling glasses we wish never to empty... and one human family we wish we could finally seat at the same fucking table.

Foodie Fam, I struggle with a mental illness, myself. Like any other illness, I'm not ashamed of mentioning it when it is pertinent to the conversation.

Mental illness is a condition that can be treated. One who takes care of their mental health can function and have a fulfilling life.

There is an unsaid comfort in the mental health patient community to know you are not alone and there are others who understand your struggle. You don't wish the pain upon anyone but when you find someone in the trenches, you cling to them. Bourdain, was a stranger whose work I admired, yet post mortem he has become kindred to me... a brother who wandered out on his own.

I do not know what happened in Bourdain's last moments. Or Spade's. Or McQueen's. Or Smiths- all artistic kindred spirits I have mourned deeply. What I know is this physically aching feeling: bereft of catharsis and inspiration.

Dear Mr. Bourdain, if only by this little old stranger, you are already so sorely missed.⠀

Stigma is bullshit. I've been bullied by family, friends, classmates and strangers. Truth is, you are the one living the pain. You are in charge of your mental health. Muster your strength and do you:

20% of American adults experience mental illness.

4% experience it so badly, it substantially interferes with or limits major life activities.

Many times, these are the energetic, outspoken and talented people others desire to be like.⠀

Foodie Fam: Fuck stigma and if you need to take care of yourself, please do, because your voice, talent and presence is necessary here on Earth.

• CALL 1-800-273-8255 (Never closed)

• CHAT https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat

• FIND SUPPORT: https://afsp.org/find-support/